Acceptance of a gift

Today, I’d like to share this little post from my poetry blog: dancingonadream.

I saw cherry blossoms today. Over the bridge, alongside a lonely black-blue train engine. Waving in the gentle breeze, a raven on a swinging branch. I hear a whistle, rhythm of wheels, coarse cooing and I breathe long and hard as I feel my thumb trace words on my forefinger.

I hear it when I least expect it, from the heart of a leader. That it’s a strength, a prism of promise clothed in darkness. I register, make a quick vow, then forget in the hustle. Yet, quietly it resonates, bringing health to weakening heart.

Dreams you touch when wide awake. Medicine, meaning, masterpiece: adding life to music, depth to emotions, order to chaos. Power resulting in the wondrous birthing of creation, the binding of the universe.

Blessed, to bless.

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Healing: Why resting is sometimes the best thing you can ‘do’

The bitterness stung. But I knew I had to swallow. It was the only way to get well. My grandmother, in her motherly wisdom, plucked leaves from our tree and drew a bath of warm water. She brewed piping hot tea that soothed inflamed glands. She cooked comfort and I gulped gladly. Baby steps to curing a fever.

When fever burns through your skin and your throat feels like sandpaper, can we really look for Grace? For God in this mess?

I close my eyes. To look closely at the functioning of your body is to admire the handiwork of God. In His Image. Yep, that’s me. And you. And I see Him everywhere.

When we are weak, He is strong. As I lie draped in a warm comforter, my body is healing. I don’t know how, for of course, I cannot see. But I know it to be true. I don’t need to see. I simply believe. The body is, of many things, also a tool to discover His miracles.

I delegate responsibilities at work, allow myself to be taken care of. Just lean quiet into experiencing recovery.
It won’t help- how many hours I exercise, the number of words I read, or the number of TV episodes I can watch when I’m unwell. Because the wisest decision I can make is to rest. That will make me stronger. Because when I am fully depleted, I can be filled anew. It is the truth of the body. Of the Spirit.
Because you know Who can heal you. So you do what is right. Rest. To rest is a verb. An action word. Yes, it is something to do. Not a passive, limp and lazy nothing.

And it is hard. To admit you can’t help yourself.
But it is holy. It is good. It is worship.
Even our heavenly father rested. After 6 days of magnificant creation. (Genesis 2)
The God who made each curving nerve, your thumping blood and your musical pulse.
It begins gently, suddenly- musical rain shaking trees and moving sand- and I fight an urge to run wild and be drenched in the dripping blessings of Heaven. But as I sit behind window grills and moist window sills, I realise I am soaking in blessings too. I rest in God and I’m healing and that’s what I need most today.

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Jesus Journeys

Over the past couple of weeks, God has begun to draw me closer to His heart and speak to me in personal ways. I cant remember a time not knowing God or going to church. But my relationship with God was more like a faraway friend, occasional guest or long lost relative. I loved Him but that love was shallow. Blush. I would experience His grace, witness His miracles in my life, be overwhelmed and then get lost in the everydays again.

I had begun a new job a couple of months ago (more on that later) and I was struggling to find time to pray and meet God. I felt a strong need for Him and I wanted to know Him more intimately. This was all the work of the Spirit- the Lord had begun in me the work of tranformation of the mind, healing of the body and a spiritual awakening. But I couldn’t find the time.

I was the new girl at work and tried hard to win the approval of my superiors and admiration of my colleagues. I was exhausted, neglected my family, physical well-being and unfortunately, Jesus.

But I reasoned with Him that I didn’t have the time. Yet, I felt a slow and intentional response ‘You do.’ I gradually came to recognize that I had 45 hours of commute time that I could devote to discovering God right at the start of the day. This was heaven’s giving. As I began to read my bible and pray during this time, work became stressful and office politics were draining my energy. I fastened my life to the promises of God and kept moving. 

And his promises are always true. Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven and all the rest will be added to you. The Lord never fails. 

Things at the office began to turn around. The superiors who mocked me were replaced with friends. The peers who stomped ahead by relying on human strength were pulled back and the Lord pushed me centre stage to a place of learning and recognition. All in his time. Image 

It isn’t the destination that is the gift. It is the journey and knowing that He who holds the world carries me on every journey.

 

 

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Broken roads and twisted rivers

I stroke this memory gently. Of watching Pocahontas sing ‘Just around the river bend’ enthusiastically, beautifully, fearlessly. And suddenly – reaching a crossroad. She then calls out to her ‘dream-giver’. And with a great amount of trust, follows her heart. This is my most favourite movie of all time because of the beautiful way it encourages dreams, courage, love and strangely, quite unexpectedly, the power of God.

No path is perfect. Frankly, nothing and nobody except our maker, is perfect. Yet, we struggle with this truth. Believing that a tough circumstance, or a roadbump is a punishment. We wear guilt and regret like glasses and use them to coat everything in sight. I’ve done this to myself too many times. Believed the awful lies that ‘There’s no way God can get me out of this’ and ‘How am I supposed to believe that I will fulfil His plans and purposes for my life?’

Then I tasted this delicious blessing from his Word.

Jeremiah 29:11-14

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.

These verses are heavenly light searching out our deepest darkest fears about our future.

The Lord knows His plans for us. We don’t know them, our parents don’t know them, our friends don’t know them, and our partners have no clue either. But the good thing is that we don’t have to know. HE knows. And if He who holds the world, holds my future thats more than enough for me.

I also love the imagery in the promise that God will gather me from all of the unhappiness and struggles. I sleep sound and dream in multicolour when I bathe in the love of this verse.

It didn’t soak in me long enough before. I blink too many times, re-read like a doubting Thomas.

Yet, my life is witness. God blessed the broken road, the winding paths, and the wandering rivers of my life. And no matter which path I chose, He just never left. Just as he promised. I ducked trying to hide, wrestled, played hard-to-get, was downright arrogant and inflated with pride. I have made daily mistakes, sinned dirty, cried wolf, whined like a baby.

And in all my childish antics, I have been disciplined but never forsaken.

I have always been led to a higher, glorious place. The House of my Father God.

Please remember these truths, loving daughter of Christ.

Your choices may have been poor, but you are an invaluable treasure.

You may have stomped off in anger, frustration or disappointment but you have never been far from God’s love for you.

You may feel unrecognisable, but your identity is forever secure in God.

Your list of sins may be long but the grace of the Lord is limitless.

Bind these truths to your one-of-a-kind heart. You are redeemed. God will bless EVERYTHING.
You can never be so far away that God will not bring you back to his purpose for you. He who sees and knows everything can and will do the impossible.
Your purpose will be fulfilled in God’s time. It is never too late for the Grace of God to rain beautiful on you.

Good things are ‘just around the river bend’. Hold on tight to your dream-giver. And expect to witness blessings that blow your mind away.